Digging Deeper (Christmas Edition)… How Do You Feel God?
While staring at the Christmas tree today, mesmerized by the lights and trying my hardest not to get anything accomplished in the name of Christmas downtime, I noticed the gold-plated nativity scene ornament that I’ve had since I was a little girl and it got me to thinking.
What better time than Christmas to dig a bit deeper when it comes to the big guy upstairs?
So here’s a Christmas question for you….when or how do you feel God the most or the closest? And I’m not necessarily limiting God to the traditional definition of the word either.
…Yes, I’m going there so just bear with me for a moment, this will be short and sweet.
Whew, that’s a loaded word and a term that I’ve spent the better part of my existence trying to wrap my head around. No really. I’ve definitely done my time in this department. Born and raised on a rock hard church pew (which begs an excellent question, why are pews so hard? Well at least they were in the 80’s), in the early days my spiritual journey mostly involved me merely trying to stay upright and awake during church but as the years passed I became quite diligent in learning all that I could about God. I was passionate about sculpting myself in what I thought was His image and sharing my experience…even erring on the side of over-sharing. When most high-schoolers are busy crafting their images and social lives, I was busy crafting dissertations on the virtues of abstinence for the school paper…and therefore de-constructing my social life.
Ummm yes, nerd alert indeed.
I’ve spent a large portion of my life reading, thinking, searching and trying to come to some sort of absolute when it comes to God. The funny thing is, the only absolute about God that I’ve been able to come to after all these years (and these are merely my observations) is the notion that coming to an absolute about God goes against the entire nature of God in the first place.
As soon as I started easing up on the pressure that I had put on myself to figure it all out, the more spiritual I became and the closer I got. When I started worrying less about getting into heaven and more on feeling God and appreciating the beauty of God’s creation, I began to truly feel what I had been searching for for so long.
Love, peace, freedom. God.
As 38 Special once sang way back in 1981…
“Just Hold On Loosely
But don’t let go
If you cling too tight babe
You’re gonna lose control”
I understand completely that this was written as a cautionary tale of the perils of clinginess whilst dating rather than a metaphor for experiencing God in one’s life; however, I’ve learned from my husband that just about any of life’s mysteries can be solved when listening to classic rock and in this case it’s especially true.
Once I eased up on trying to adhere to all the words, the rules, the doctrines and my inability to figure out why bad things happen, I came closer to God than I ever had before.
Now I have come to truly feel God in simple and wonderful pleasures like nature, in loving relationships, in personal achievement and in the everyday beauties of this world. And as I sit in the light of my Christmas tree on this beautiful Christmas Eve day, I feel God.
So how do you feel God the most? What has your God journey been like and what have you learned?